Stab My Back
by allycatsworld
Summary: Jacob's point of view. Jacob is thinking about Bella, and to his dismay, Edward. Based on the song ' Stab My Back' by The All American Rejects


Jacob's view..

_**Now we're broken on the floor,  
She just wants me to share her.  
It hasn't been this way before,  
She just wants me to dare her.**_

I watched her go with him, what more could I do. He was my opposite, cold, lethal to her, sickening. I was none of those. He would say I'm lethal, but I have controll, I have more controll than any of my brothers. I have overcome my rage to turn, for her. Now there she is with that _bloodsucker_. She would rather be with that leach, someone who would jump at the oppurtunity to suck her dry.

She would prefer that I was her friend. How could I be her friend, when she was kissing my nemises, my foe, my most hated? It was never like this before, before I changed. Before I became the good guy. Sure, the Cullens all _claim _that they aren't bad, but a bloodsucker is a bloodsucker, and that can't be changed; and she _chose_ them over me. Before we were able to be friends together, to laugh freely, he left her here broken and torn to pieces. I helped to mend her. I fell for her. I know she fell for me. How couldn't she? Really? I was the constant, I told her about the bloodsuckers in the first place. I was the one who saved her.

But look who doesn't have her. Me.

The good one.

I can see it though, she wants me to be her friend so badly, and I want to, she is daring me to. She doesn't seem to fully understand how hard it is for me to be anywhere near the leach. She doesn't smell his disgusting scent. The scent that is now radiating off of her. What a hasle. But I won't follow her. She chose. _**  
**_

_**The phone rings (The phone rings),  
And she screams:  
"Stab my back again,  
It's better when I bleed for you.  
Walk on me,  
There never was enough to do."**_

She has been calling me alot, it is all I can do to ignore her. To tell Billy to tell her that I am not home, that I don't want to talk to her. It hurts, I do want to talk to her. I want to tell her how much I love her, how I know she loves me. How I forgive her. But I don't. I can her screaming at Billy. She seems mad. It is not my fault, she chose the bloody blood sucker- do bloodsuckers have blood? Nevermind. That isn't important. I hate the fact that as I think this, I know that it is going to go through the whole pack. To Sam, to Embry, Quill, Leah, Seth, Paul and everyone else.

"Damnit Billy! Tell Jacob that I'm sorry-" it sounded like she started crying now, " I didn't-don't, want to hurt him, I, I do love him, he knows. I-Just tell him Billy, just get him to talk to me, to yell at me, to tell me he hates me, anything, I just need to hear him," and the phoneline clicked off. I heard my dad sigh.

She married that damn leach. The one she loved more, and she wanted me to talk to her. Hm, she did say I could be mean. But could I really do that?

_**I can't get past her,  
Falling faster,  
It's true.  
It hasn't done a lot for you.  
**_

I can't even do that, I can't be mad, I can't even pretend, she told me, time and time again. If anything I am more mad at myself, for continuing to fall so hard, so strongly in love with her. With my enemies girlfriend. Well, she was beautiful. Who knows if she is now. She might have been turned already, another bloodsucker. I will always remember though, her long straight brown hair, her large brown eyes and pouty lips. She was so clumsy, would she still be now? It was very endearing, so was her temper. She was so easy to piss off.

Not that me loving her changes anything. It hasn't done much for her. She still married him. Her Edward. _Aw_.

_**  
And every time he held you close,  
Yeah, were you thinking of me?  
Just when I needed you the most,  
Well I hope that you're happy.  
**_

I wonder, when he was holding her, my Bella, was she actually thinking of me. She admitted she loved me. But she loved _him_ more. I have hope though, that she holds me deeper in her heart than she knows, and I hope that when he is holding her, she thinks of me. I know she thinks of me as her sun, she told me, she thinks of me as the one to brighten her. To make her happy. But she won't let me make her happy in the way I want.

Well, I need her now, I am so angry all the time, I need her to be here to calm me, she always was good at that, now she's gone, making me miserable, my pack irratable because they all know exactly what I see, what I think, what I dream, what I want. It's annoying.

Well I hope this makes her happy.

_**  
The phone rings (The phone rings),  
When she screams:  
"Stab my back again,  
It's better when I bleed for you.  
Walk on me,  
There never was enough to do."**_

She hasn't called yet today, and I hate to admit it, that even though I don't want her to call, I want to. Is that crazy? I can't help it. I love her, like no other. Maybe this love isn't the same as being inprinted, but it is so strong, and I can't stop imagining her, my Bella, the one who doesn't like music and who is open to everyone. My Bella Swan. But no, now she isn't my Bella. She is his. His Bella _Cullen. _Pretty soon, she won't even be human. She won't be the human Bella Sw-_Cullen_, she'll be another leach, another bloodsucker. Another reason to resent her.

Ah, I hear the phone ringing. How exciting. I might just answer it.

"Hello." I couldn't muster my voice to be any more gentle. I was pissed, she married the enemy!

"Jake? Is that you? It's Bella" I sighed, who else would it be?

"Hello, Mrs. Cullen." I said with as much venom as possible in my voice. I couldn't help it. She chose. Her fault.

"I um, yes, well, Jake, you said that we could still be friends. I miss you." Of course. Poor Bella, she misses me. Too bad she married the leach, because I more than miss her. I love her.

_**I can't get past her,  
Falling faster,  
It's true.  
It's better when I bleed for you.**_

"Well, that's too bad. You chose Bella, I can't change that, nor can you." I ran my hand through my hair. I was going to have to get it cut soon. I let it grow because _she _liked it. Well, that doesn't matter anymore.

" I know.. I, I do love you Jacob."

I sighed loudly, " I know, but not enough, Bella. I _love_ you. I wouldn't change you, but I guess that's not enough." I know, that was a bit cruel. Whatever, she deserves it. I didn't hang up the phone, I waited for her to reply, I heard a soft sob on the other line.

" Bella, sorry. Love you, bye" I hung up. I had to apologize. It would have been to hard for me to go through the rest of the day thinking ' I just made Bella cry and I didn't apologize.' Oh well, whatever.

_**  
I hope that love he gave you,  
Was just enough to save you.  
You nearly broke my heart,  
Just look at what you're tearing apart!**_

I wonder if she knows, you know? Of course she does. I have made it obvious, or atleast I hoped I did. She's destroying me. She took control of me, and she made me believe that she loved me, or someday could, now she's gone. I know, I am repeating the same damn things over and over again. But that is how I work, running my mind in circles...tres exciting.

I hope she can see, see what she's doing to me.

How she is tearing me apart. _****_

Stab my back again,  
It's better when I bleed for you.  
Walk on me,  
There never was enough to do.  


She knew that I didn't like the Cullens, ever since I changed, and I found out what her precious Edward did to her. But she can be cruel to me, it's better that way. I would rather be in pain then her. That's how much I love her.

If it makes her happy to be with my enemy, then so be it. She can walk all over my emotions, I don't have enough problems as it is.

Heh.

_**  
I can't get past her,  
Falling faster,  
It's true.  
It hasn't done a lot for you.  
**_

Ugh, she hasn't called resently. I like leach has something to do with that, I wouldn't be surprised at all. She would do anything he asked.

That's not true. She escaped with me when they had her on lockdown, she made sure that we could spend time together, she loves me. She just doesn't realize how much.

She will.

I can't stop thinking about her. I just fall harder with everythought. Every memory. Like the first time we spoke to each other, and she flirted with me, I guess that was my downfall. I was in shock. She, this attractive girl, was flirting with _me, _a nobody, the son of her fathers best friend. From then on I was stuck. I couldn't stop thinking about her. Dreaming about her. Of course, she was only using me. I knew, but I still couldn't help falling for her.

Then she got depressed when _Edward_ left, and we became the best of friends, and she started to look so much better, so much more beautiful, she looked like she had a life again, like she was healing. I was in love, I knew. And I knew she loved me too.

Then her precious bloodsucker came back. The end. Crap, I wish I could leave and come back and have her still willing to be with me.

But I would never do that. I would never leave Bella.

_**It's better when I bleed for you.  
It never was enough to do.  
It hasn't done a lot for you.**_

Ah, I can hear her truck outside. She actually came all the way down here? Well she obviously isn't a bloodsucker yet, that's good. Ah, but her bloodsucker is with her.

"Jacob?" I hear her knocking on the door. I don't smell her bloodsucker with her, maybe his scent is just all over her. _Ew._

I openned the door for her. She look alright. She's definitly had better days, and I can't help but wonder. Did I do that? Am I making her miserable? Is it all my fault that she looks like that?

"Sorry. Jacob. I'm so sorry.." She says lowly, lowering her head. She is so sorry she can't look at me.

I grabbed her and hugged her tightly, I felt her hug me back. I lowered my head so that my mouth was near her ear.

" I love you, I truly do Bella, but I can't seem to prove that enough for you. I will still be your friend, for aslong as you are human. Which could be an hour for all I know.-" I looked down at her. At the bags under her eyes, and pale skin.-" I guess my love hasn't done alot for you."

He lowered his lips to hers and gave her a quick chaste kiss. He needed just one more. Even though she was a married woman. She didn't pull away, but she didn't respond.

"Bye Bella. I love you. Remember that."

With one more squeeze I let her go, then without thinking walked to the back yard and ran to rhe forest. I needed to do some real running. I needed to change.

I left her at the door, I hope she understands. I love her. But that doesn't seem to be enough for her.

---

The End..

I have another One-Shot coming soon Between Edward and Bella. Review please:)

-Alyssa

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